Why?

My newly tweezed eyebrows are still too fuzzy.
My freshly painted nails are too red.
My body is unsightly.
I see the fat.
The eyeshadow doesn't seem to go on right.
The lipgloss is sticky.
The mascara smudged.
Do you know what I am getting at?

Sometimes, it is just one of those days when no matter what you get at, nothing falls into place. Nothing at all seems right. We are all human and time and time again there will be the moment where we face a blunder or get stuck in a rut. Today is that day for me.

So far, things have been falling in place and while it doesn't feel wrong, it is not exactly where I imagined myself to be either. And when it comes to this, you turn to the person which whom you thought you could count on and you realise...

It really isn't all it seems. The hand which you thought would pull you through has let go and left you behind. And so you realise, at the end all you have is yourself... No one else...
I can't really think of any other way to describe what I am going through right now besides this analogy.

I dig my own grave, lie in it and then have to tell and beg the other people to bury me too...


I.am.tired.
I.am.cried.out.